YEAH baby!
Friday, September 30, 2011.

if there's a day.....
i could go to a serene place...where there are beaches.....
warm weather......nice city view..from the swimming pool.....
with my BFFs......
surrounded by lots of Europeans....
and ppl whom i dun noe......
wouldnt it be perfect?????
wearing bikini......showing off! =p! hahaha....
well....this is another dream of mine!! HAHAHAH.....
travel around with a carefree lifestyle....
back packing...enjoying ......pampering myself with five star services....
OHHH!!!!! i juz wan this kind of vacation so BADLY!!!
time for recruitment! and saving money!!!! for this luxurious BIKINI trip!!!!
hottie on the way! !!!!!~~~~

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{ 7:24 PM }

forget it!
Thursday, September 29, 2011.

and you!!!
doesnt worth my tears anymore!
yes.....i may turn weak upon seeing you...
but i will grab my fist tight...
and not to fall apart ever again.....
no matter how u hurt me by sweet talking other girls...
i wont give a damn!
coz i deserve a better!~
a one who really noes how to appreciate me for who i am....
as for you....im so sorry....
u let go too many chances of mine.....
im lucky to have let go early......
a guy who sweet talk random girls...is just not my cup of tea...
and yea.....
im in the mood to search for a better man...
who truly deserve my love.....=)

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{ 8:47 PM }

unfren
Wednesday, September 28, 2011.

A guy who loves you....
never let you go.....
after seeing this...
im pretty sure that he doesnt deserve my love anymore...
got a sudden urge to unfren him...
coz i dun wan myself to noe bout his doings now....
coz he didnt even care bout me when im sick...
wat kind of guy is this???
in short.....
i regretted loving him.......
a man who doesnt care.......

reflection: but he didnt do wrong......he onli treated u as a fren......so y should he care?

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{ 6:11 PM }

sorry.......
Tuesday, September 27, 2011.

sorry for untagging......
and thanks a lot for tagging...
im very grateful.....
but sorry....
i can either be the one or no one...
im sorry for still loving you.....
and i hate myself for doing so.....

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{ 7:52 PM }

pain...i need you to go away....

i really dun understand myself....
y should i hold on like that.....
he made it so clear that he is over me....
y should i stay in this mood.....and refrain myself.....wasting my time....on him!
y do i find it so hurtful when i saw him deleted my picture when i told me not to.?
y do i felt the pain when he always spends him time with her and not me???
sometimes...i rather wish that we had not started anything before...
coz all these memories are killing me...
if we werent together.....at least we are still frenz now...
but now....im sorry....
i cant be frens with you anymore..
coz u dun treat me as one.....
well......this is wat god planned for me...
to suffer for a better....
i have to persuade myself that he is not good enough for me and i deserve a better...
if he does really love me....
he wouldnt have do such things to me.....
and yea....i shouldnt love him anymore....
tell me how to let go.......pls.....
i dun wanna feel that pain anymore...
it already last for 3 months...
pls go away......

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{ 6:12 PM }

gimme good health and luck pls!!!!
Monday, September 26, 2011.

my day was great........=)
knew a new fren....and.....joined the IMU cup swimming competition......
unbelievable right??
i haven ever join a sports competition before except for TKD...
phew....
not feeling well today....and i cant concentrate in lecture today.,..
but i need to thank my fren who fetched and accompanied me to the doctor today...
wish that the sickness will go away aS soon as i wake up.....
dear lord....
i have limited time now....
pls grant me a healthy body......

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{ 7:47 PM }

its ok......
Sunday, September 25, 2011.

hey...hows life??
long time din talk to you edi.....
forgive me for doing so...
any how....u forget wat u promised to do...
u said u will spend this weekend night with me and talk to our heart;s content...
but it ended up like nothing had happened...
never mind...
youre just like that to me everytime..

again....as long as youre living happily without me....
its ok.....
may be im just not part of you......
im not emo when i write this...
i just felt that i miss him at this very moment when he is not....
its ok......i will alwayz get through it....
forgive me for not talking to you....
just wish tat u will stay happy....
as you alwayz do....i can see it from your smile....

and yea.....im emo last night....
as u din even request for fetching me but rather fetching another girl whom you knew just for one month....may be lesser than that...
watching her sitting beside you was a total eye sore for me...
im sorry for feeling that way...
but you really did let me down...
if this is wat u meant by good frenz....
im requesting a resignation from you....
im sorry....youre just not treating me as one...
for this ..im totally disappointed......
stay off me .......!

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{ 11:10 PM }

you lost me......
Friday, September 23, 2011.

once you noe.........
wat you did....
break the relationship and trust we are suppose to have..
you have lost one true fren who really noes how to appreciate for who you are...
dont regret one day...
saying that you lost one true fren......
coz you did too much things that ruin the whole relationship with her....
u dont understand the real meaning of treasure yet....
but when u do....
everything had been made apart....
coz of everything u did.......

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{ 3:42 PM }

from priceless to worthless....

A stranger once again.......
after all that uve done..
ive realize that u have not keep up to your promises.....
u said we are both good frenz...
but we end up like not knowing each other at all...
i can even feel that im not occupying any places in your heart anymore..
and youre not there for me anymore..
being lost of one fren who once noes how to appreciate me is a very disappointing thing to notice...
if your aim is for me to hate and forget you?
well..congratulations....you did it!
you rather fetch someone u noe for a month rather than me...
and not even care to bother how am i suppose to go there...
is a fantastic job that make me so disappointed in you.....and all your decision and act.....
in conclusion....
you dun care bout me anymore..
and i finally notice..
how worthless i am to you....
DONE.....

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{ 2:09 PM }

audience...
Thursday, September 22, 2011.

thanks for coming.......
not sure bout your presence was it meant to be mine..
closer as it may seem....
i wish both of you happily together.....
coz i can see you have regain the smile you once lost when youre with me....
i will stand aside...
as long as your happy when youre with her....
and im glad that she gave you happiness......
may be im just not good enough to deserve your love......
good luck....and all the best....


fading off......

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{ 2:22 PM }

a bad morning.....

i dreamt of you again today......
we were spending time together......
happily in love.....
but suddenly i woke up...
all things shattered into pieces.....
its never real.....
y should i dream of these kind of things???
dun let me start my day like that can u?
punch me.......i wish to get some physical hurt that can hurt even deeper than my heart....
juz to overcome that pain....for at least a couple of days....
its too much for me...
can i just leave .......?

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{ 10:20 AM }

strong without you........
Tuesday, September 20, 2011.

yea....a new life......
i noe that no matter wat i do....
i will never get back the one i once love......
i miss every single part of you....
and yea bout the trigger...that cause the breakdown in me...
im so sorry.....to cause a scar in the relationship between u and him....
its all my fault...
i think the only way for me ........
is really to give u time and give myself time to move on......and carry on with our lives...
if i ever do a single thing to safe back this relationship....
i'll kill myself because everything i tried to do....
which i think it helps...makes things worse.....
i dun like that....
so i shall leave you alone....
i'll let you go....coz i love you....
this is wat u wanted....and longing for...
i should not have restrict you with my selfishness to get back together with me...
as long as you are happy....
i will continue my journey of life...
with bits of despair....
but not to worry....
i will grow strong.....i will......

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{ 10:07 PM }

together
Tuesday, September 13, 2011.

there have been some time...i stop blogging...
rather i start by writing a diary of my own......
i wouldnt wan my emo feelings affects so many people who is reading my blog......
btw...im good enough to stay strong.....
here......i'm trying to accept the truth now....
the stress management lecturer says...
if u cant avoid...then u have to accept....
i'm accepting the person whom i loved not becoming that close to me now..
but rather another girl...
im not sure what is he thinking now.....but deep down...i really hope that he still have me in his heart....
not that i dun wanna open my heart to someone else.....
just that my current heart is preoccupied with him......
youre still living in me.....=) i'll juz give myself sometime.....
to accept he is alwayz close to the girl.....may be i will juz walk away if its too much for me?
not sure....i'll see how it goes......
hope that he is doing good now......=)
juz went for PBL.....coincidentally, im in the same group and we sit beside each other...
thats the onli time i could be close to him...
i'll treasure these moments together.... although we are not together......
and i will control my tears whenever its possible.......=)
look forward is wat i need to focus on.......stay optimistic man! <3

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{ 1:55 PM }

let go?? how???
Friday, September 2, 2011.

when can i learn to be more optimistic??
in the first place.....am i that pessimistic?
dun think so.....
i have a lot to say....but duno where to start...
i felt a lot these days.....
but seriously dun have the time to blog.....
to forget all those bits and pieces of me and him....is hard.....but im struggling with it....
i wish i couldnt remember a single thing.....
now that i can feel how much i meant to him ...
its like from a piece of gold....from the start
and now.....turns into ashes...
im not in his sight any more.....
every single time i saw him...he will be with another girl.....
how is it like...if we never have met each other???
and we never start anything before....?
will it be better???
if u ever have the chance to see this....
STOP ASKING HOW I FEEL! its non of your business anymore!
if i felt sad...and disappointed of wat u are doing....so wat??
its my feelings! dont u EVER care of it any more!!!!!
just get out of my life! i dun wanna noe a single thing bout you !!!
go on with your life....im already your pass.....
hurt me more! so that i can let u go!
youre on the right tract now...
just continue doing it and i swear to god....i can let go of you!
iam not being pessimistic here....
but then....just that i noe that i love you more that u do....
noeing that u let go of me in such a short time......
hurts me so bad.....and i frequently tell myself to forget and let u go....
phew.....i need a new life.....without u.....can i????
just leave me alone.....until the day i die......

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{ 6:48 PM }