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The UnBEETLEble Life
www.jichinghideaway.blogspot.com
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self-reflection
Thursday, September 23, 2010.

time for some personal reflection after a long long fight with time......
yes. its a hectic one....with all the exams queing up juz like youre buying the bus ticket home during raya.....

first problem:

recently, the faith in myself declines gradually with time without me noticing.....and undeniably , this is a bad precursor.....very often i doubted my ability and alwayz wanted to compare myself with wat other ppl did...and i find that tiring.....i love to do everything accordin to my own pace......i restrict myself from comparing with others......but in the end.....it doesnt work out......comparison makes me feel so small.....it hits directly on my face telling me to keep out of the way and dun block others from proceeding.......but wat about me??? i do have my own perspective to achieve and goals to strike....i need my own way too......

ways to address this:

do wat u do and be who u are......you may not be as excellent as others but deep down inside..you have wat others dont......believe in law of attraction and of course having faith in your-self is the most vital key to success......gambateh lee ji ching!!!!


next problem:

i seriously in need to reflect on my own behaviour and actions........i realize that i complain a lot these days which i wont if the same thing happens to me in my past.......i've become rough...ill-mannered and impolite in many ways which i dun think it is a problem until my mom reminds me of it......the facial expressions i made which i think it is a kind of act to show ppl how u actually feel without hiding any feelings behind, is actually very impolite and hideous according to my mom....argh!!!! how could i become so ...so....so....UGLY! i thought that i could express better this way and bring in joy to ppl around me.....i love to laugh out loud.....talk loud....and giggle for no reason....and tats me.....i love to stick to carefree ppl who brings me joy and motivation......and not those who counts every single cent for a meal we ate together......i love to act wild in the sense that i dun like restriction juz because of the reason to uphold a good reputation or for better appearance.....but some how...in this realistic world ....we have to bare with something that doesnt goes according to our plan....or our wishes .....and even our heart.....

ways to overcome:

mom....i promise you to act more like a girl alright??? i noe that my appearance doesnt suit my improper bahaviour.....thats y...i really need to do myself a favour.......which is to be more gentle and care more for others without constant complaining......and i'm sorry for the ears which are alwayz suffering from my heartless complains ....its an attitude problem that i really need to look into.....thinking deeper.....its not juz plainly bout pleasant looking or appearance....its about a person's character....and i've notice that i 've changed a lot.....from a serious, cool, and heartless prefect to a person who smile and laugh a lot.......and latter to a person with weird and indescribable person.....sometimes i even thought that i have two different personalities in me.....and i'm standing in a diverge road.....thinking of which road to ditch......i'll walk on one day with my head up high ......proudly declare that i';ve made the right choice for the past nineteenth years......


i wish to tell the thirty year old me that....i promise to choose for the better , aim high and strike high.....i wan no regrets for i can live my every age for onli once in a life time......yes....sometimes reflection impart motivation , courage and direction for the future......undoubtedly .....this time ...is one of the best ....

aims and goals for the days ahead would be :

1. slim down by the start of next year.......
2. get to go for 3rd dan grading by the end of this year......
3. get enough money to go for grading and leadership camp...
4. train hard to achieve the standard i want to...
5. get 7.5 or higher for IELTS.. and speak calm during speaking test
6. achieve good grades for upcoming finals so that i wont let my parents to have a chance to blame me because of starting a relationship during a levels......i wont let them down...
7. get through everyday of my relationship wit him and all my friends happily and fruitfully...
8.be grateful for wat i have and alwayz remind myself of the right things to be done....
9. BE GENTLE AND POLITE!!!!!!

i bet the last one is the hardest to achieve! ......reflect lee ji ching!!! REFLECT UPON YOURSELF!!!!!!!! you are so RUDE!!!!

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{ 10:42 PM }



SHE

Crazy.Loving.Loud.Bossy.Boyish.Sporting.Adventurous

Claim herself to be street smart.Mysterious and Passionate.Loves exploring her limitations by trying out new things.Difficulties? NAH! one can never read from her appearance.time and sincerity is the key. may look joyous but secure a fragile heart.*smackface*


her life

studying
Music
Sing
EAT
Sleep
Drama marathon!
Listening rather than talking
shopping
pretend to be clever *wink*

What she thinks?

Do a bunch of crazy and random things before she dies cuzzzzz there's just ONE LIFE to live!
despite every emo posts, she survives. guess this is the only place where she can face all her obstacles in life by putting them all in words.

Her Story

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thanks for leaving your footsteps in my life =)