stupid
Sunday, July 31, 2011.

i noe i have no right to say anything or comment anything now....
but yea.....
i felt that i'm again....
jealous! WTF!
y am i alwayz tat stupid....???

and yea....no matter how much u've change...
i will still be by your side ....
to listen to your problem.....

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{ 10:19 PM }

。。。。

原来到现在。。。
再回想。。。
我还会哭。。。。

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{ 12:50 AM }

我最情爱的
Saturday, July 30, 2011.

很想知道你近况 我听人说 还不如你对我讲
经过那段遗憾 请你放心 我变得更加坚强
世界不管怎样荒凉 爱过你就不怕孤单
我最亲爱的 你过的怎麼样
没我的日子 你别来无恙
依然亲爱的 我没让你失望
让我亲一亲 像过去一样
我想你一定喜欢 现在的我
学会了你最爱的开朗
想起你的模样 要什麼错 还不能够被原谅
世界不管怎样荒凉 爱过你就不怕孤单
我最亲爱的 你过的怎麼样
没我的日子 你别来无恙
依然亲爱的 我没让你失望
让我亲一亲 像朋友一样
虽然离开了你的时间 一起还漫长 我们总能补偿
因为中间空白的时光 如果还能分享 也是一种浪漫
关系虽然不再一样 关心却怎能说断就断
我最亲爱的 你过的怎麼样
没我的日子 你别来无恙
依然亲爱的 我没让你失望
让我亲一亲 像亲人一样
我最亲爱的 你过的怎麼样
没我的日子 你别来无恙
依然亲爱的 我没让你失望
让我亲一亲 像过去一样 

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{ 11:01 PM }

尺
Friday, July 29, 2011.

活在这个世界上。。就是要自在。。
的确世界很不公平。。。
付出的不一定得到相等的回报。。
可能有些人活得比我们苦。。
看见别人那么苦地为钱烦。。。
而自己却轻轻松松的。。。买这个买哪个。。
是奢侈。。还是别人花得起？？

其实我们不必羡慕他人买什么。。
穿什么。。。带什么。。。
别人穿，吃，喝的。。。都不管你事。。
别人有本事花。。是别人的本事。。。
无需比较。。。无需自卑。。。无需批评。。。
因为自己有的东西别人可能没有。。。
批评别人只是因为自己没有比别人好。。。
批评了。。就好像说一些重伤·别人的话。。。来安慰自己。。。
做人要懂口德。。。
为什么要计较那么多？
别人想做什么就让别人做啦。。。
只要不伤害到自己就可以了。。。。

人心中都有一把尺。。
能容忍多少。。就看那把尺有多长。。。
尺越长。。越看得开。。
越看的开。。就不计较那么多。。。
当然。。自己的身家为底线。。。
因为在这现实的世界。。。
很多人因为钱而身不由己。。。
有钱人可以很大方。。。也可以很吝啬。。。
没钱的人。。。一样可以很富有。。因为他心中富有。。
也可能因为穷而不能和其他人一样大方。。。

终结。。计较得太多。。。
只会让自己更辛苦。。
就算别人如何与你计较。。。
自己应该了解计较的痛苦。。。
别人计较 是因为他们还未知道此道理。。
现在你比别人懂更多。。。。
何必为还未开窍的人痛苦的？
如果你想得通。。。又做得到的话。。。
想必您心中的尺。。。一定比谁都长。。。=）

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{ 9:57 PM }

A diary's Boy...

boys who write diaries....

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{ 1:53 AM }

原来
Wednesday, July 27, 2011.

突然想念你的体温。。

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{ 8:03 PM }

XX!
Sunday, July 24, 2011.

星期日。。。
这个星期日。。很不平凡。。。
因为。。今天是我与两位最要好的朋友最后一次见面的一天。。。
今天以后。。。就要到年尾才能见面。。
不然明年。。才能再次遇见。。。
两位都是对我不离不弃的好友。。
没有了他们就没有今天的我。。
在这里。。。祝福你们。。
学业进步。。身体健康。。出入平安。。。
再见了。。。red devil & haruko ai....><!
will miss u all a lot!
thanks for being there....
as alwayz......=) XOXO!

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{ 8:43 PM }

un...earasable....
Friday, July 22, 2011.

how to forget those memories we had?
and those secrets we share...
the moment i close my eyes when i'm alone...
memories and secrets of both of us played like a video in my mind...
it was......sweet.......
perhaps.....it will remain as my dream forever.....
deep down in my soul.....
nope...it cant be erase.....

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{ 5:16 PM }

想什么想。。。
Wednesday, July 20, 2011.

有些东西不必强求.。。。
想你就是想你。。。
没有想你的。。。你怎么样去想。。他也不会想你。。。

顺其自然啦。。。
我不执着了。。。
随你便。。。。。

你想谁再也与我无关。。
我也应得开始找个目标来想了。。。。
baby booboo!!! hehhehe........<3

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{ 10:27 PM }

选择

不要说我放不下。。。。
一年的感情如果一下子要放下的就不是真感情。。。
歌都有的唱。。。。

对他唯一遗憾是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪都停不下来
若那一刻重来 我不哭
让他知道我可以很好

我爱他 轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏 都不肯醒来

如果还有遗憾 又怎么样呢
伤了痛了懂了 就能好了吗
曾经依靠彼此的肩膀
如今各自在人海流浪

不是不想放下。。。
不舍得又如何。。。
但愿我勇敢地面对。。。。
未来的事才是我应该掌控。。。
活得更好是我如今应该做的选择。。。。
未来的后悔。。全因如今做了错的选择。。。
我不能再后悔了！！！！

P/S: you know wat.......

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{ 3:05 PM }

致： 外星人爸爸

我很清楚也很明白
随着时间的磨练。。。
我会逐渐成为你的过去。。。
而那时的我。。。就与现在的你和她的关系没两样。。。
你对每个女生都很好。。。。
那是你。。。。
我无法想象你与我以后会如何。。。
但愿你现在活得比以前开心。。。。
嗨。。。。。
我不明为什么还会有jealous的心态。。。
可是我会尽量让自己忘记吧。。。
外星人爸爸。。。。
你要活得好哦！！
=）依旧地爱着你。。。。。

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{ 2:57 PM }

again
Monday, July 18, 2011.

it was u and me again.....before i sleep...
tossing and turning even though my mom is beside...
i noe i cant cry anymore....
nor i can utter a word to anyone...
no one will listen to me and understand my heart...
why am i doing all this silly things while he doesnt really care anymore?
i should noe.....
by now....he has already given up on me...
and dun bother to contact me anymore...
y should i continue to leave a place for him in my heart?
y should he be the cause of my insomnia?
sadly....its because of all those memories he gave me.....
how can i ever forget that.....
y am i crying again???
i should forget everything by now......
wat am i doing????

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{ 11:51 AM }

hate
Friday, July 15, 2011.

i felt that i;m so pathetic......
i'm just so pathetic......
i hate myself....

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{ 10:09 PM }

invaluable

i felt so scared today...
and i dun feel like he cares anymore...
the more we chat ..
i more i miss the moments....
wat am i doing???
i'm so scared now and i dun have a person to rely on???
wat am i doin???
y do i need a person to rely on???
coz i;m too weak...
i;m never too strong....
he din miss me.....y should i have asked him?
it makes me sounds so desperate for his love....
y should i make myself till like that?
sigh.....like so invaluable....
am i that invaluable to you?

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{ 9:49 PM }

still do
Thursday, July 14, 2011.

and sorry...u cant stop me from loving you.....
i understand that we cant be together...
but yea....i have the rights to love anyone i wan to.....

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{ 11:29 PM }

wassup?

u ask me y do i still love him so much??
i doesnt really have an exact answer....
because...i noe him the best?
or rather he noes me the best???
because...i'm really happy when i;m with him....
because....i learn to laugh at his jokes.....although sometimes its not funny at all?
i'm not sure....
i learn to love him......=)
but i dun love ppl easily....
so......
wat...................??????????????

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{ 5:26 PM }

marriage is never an easy thing ....

hey....finding a person who really noes u well...
is never an easy thing to do...
u have to start all over again....
from the beginning......ZERO....
learning each other......
be comfortable with each other's presence.....
noeing each other's hobbies....and stuffs......
it takes years.....and definitely not months ........
before the next relationship starts....
i will really take into account on who he is....
i'll never learn to love someone so deep.....
until there's no u turn for me....
onli love your spouse 100 percent.....not bf...
be sure on who u love before u really love him with all your heart....
dun make a regretful choice which will make your relationship ending awfully....
take time to discover a person......
but i hope i will meet the right person in no time....
i dun have much time to waste....ideal year for marriage is 8 years ahead!!!
OMG!!!!!! LGMN!! hahaha.....

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{ 4:01 PM }

processing....

OMG!!!
it will be IMU orientation soon!!
i hope i will be ready to let him go.....
let him make more new frenz....
if ever one day he met a girl who really suits him...
i hope i'm ready to let him go.....
there will be so many juniors for him to choose......
dun be jealous ji ching....=)
i love u....=) right.....let him go......
if he really does loves u back.....
he will eventually be yours.....right....=)
i'll set him free.....in the process......

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{ 3:49 PM }

a dream
Wednesday, July 13, 2011.

sometimes i will think of u...
and will wonder that if u do the same....
i wish u do.......
and i wish someday we could be together once again....
its not an expectation....
its a dream......

if ever one day......
u are in a relationship once again....
i hope that i will be able to let u go...
and give u all my blessings.....
of course i will be heart broken......
but it means an ending for you and me......
may be we does not suit each other for now...
but we cant be sure for the future.....
i will leave a possibility for u and me...
at least it is not a never......
coz i still love you.....=)

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{ 4:19 PM }

me.....now......

y am i so...jealous??????????
he is not mine anymore.....
sigh........
i wonder how could i let him go.......
i wish i could.....
but i cant.....
coz i still love him...
and i will alwayz do.....
therefore....i should not stop wat he loves to do the most...
and i dun have the right to ....anymore....
=) i wish u all the best....
and i still wish to be your best friend who u can share thoughts with me.....

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{ 4:15 PM }

hello
Saturday, July 9, 2011.

I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?

I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know

'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you ...

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{ 12:04 PM }

random to you....
Friday, July 8, 2011.

hey there...
i love you....
<3...=)

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{ 5:27 PM }

2nd day without u....

was tossing and turning in bed last night....
thinking of all the memories we had together...
looking bac at the starwalk photos reminded me the day u confessed...
and how we kept in touch till we met...
all has been well....
but kept thinking of those make me cried even harder...
because i couldnt turn bac time...
making u loving me that way again....
too much of crying made me tired and i went to sleep without noticing....

hows your health now?
hows everything so far....
hows.....
i'd noe i'll never get an answer...
but yea.....
i will try to make today a better one...
once again....i will stay strong.....

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{ 11:13 AM }

sorry that i loved u

For all of the time that I tried for your smile
For making you think I was worth the while
So your love love love love love would be mine
For sending you flowers and holding your hand
that no one was there to take a stand
but the love love love made us blind
and I'm so sorry that I hurt you

sorry that I fell through
sorry I was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that I came true
but sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that I have done to you
I wish that I could make it alright
so sorry that I loved you
Sorry that I needed you
sorry that I loved you
sorry that I held you tight
and I'm sorry for making you love me and saying goodbye
for being the one that taught you how to cry
It was love love love and it passed us by
for giving you every thing that you dreamed
for taking it back when i fled the scene
sorry love for wasting your time
and I'm so sorry that I hurt you

sorry that I fell through
sorry I was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that I came true
but sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that I have done to you
I wish that I could make it right
so sorry that I loved you
Sorry that I needed you
sorry that I loved you
sorry that I held you tight

an apology now after all of this time
won't make any difference tonight
but I'm hoping I'm sorry will open your mind
to love love love in your life
sorry that i hurt you
sorry that I fell through
sorry I was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that I came true
but sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that I have done to you
I wish that I could make it right
sorry that i hurt you
sorry that I fell through
sorry I was falling in love with you


I'm sorry that I came true
but sorry doesn't turn back time
I'm sorry that I loved you
Sorry that I hurt you
I'm so sorry that I loved you
i'm so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I loved you

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{ 11:04 AM }

untitled

翻开随身携带的记事本
写着许多事都是关于你
你讨厌被冷落
习惯被守候
寂寞才找我
我看见自己写下的心情
把自己放在卑微的後头
等你等太久
想你泪会流
而幸福快乐是什么
爱的痛了
痛的哭了
哭的累了
日记本里页页执着
记载着你的好
像上瘾的毒药
它反覆骗着我
矛盾心里总是强求
劝自己要放手
闭上眼让你走
烧掉日记重新来过

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{ 10:51 AM }

let me drink

i wish i could drink......
to paralyze my emotion.....
apparently i cant....coz i wont....
but i wanted to.......

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{ 12:07 AM }

who will understand?
Thursday, July 7, 2011.

every night....
i lie down in bed.....
i'll wet my pillow......
if this week of staying apart makes no difference to you...
which means i'm no longer important to you..
and my absence will not change any part of u....
i'm awaiting for the call....every night....
but it dont seems that its coming....
i'm not sure how u manage to overcome this....
or may be u had already been habituated of not having me around...
or u had not been missing me....
its hurtful.....noeing that i will not have a reply from u...
i'm scared to disturb u....
i'm scared of loosing u.....
but wat i;m most scared of is....
keeping the person without having your heart with me...
this is terrible for me to face this alone....
who can understand this feeling up in my heart?
tears will......tears will......it had alwayz been my loyal company...

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{ 11:18 PM }

1st day

hey......i miss u......
wat are u doing now...?
first day.....without u.....=(...
hope youre doing good......

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{ 7:35 PM }

i did my best...

u ask for a week......
and its granted.......not bothering u....
either am i going to bug on u......
its all yours.....
i do really hope that u would use this time....
which i tried very hard not to buzz u...
to think about wat u wan.....
am i the one u really wanna be with?
coz i really do not wish to waste your time...
i made this decision because.....
i noe i have to make this step to let u really think bout it...
i noe...that boys will not take the first step to end a relationship...
they will onli do things to hurt the girls first.....
so that the girl will take the initiative to say it out.....
so that its not that hurtful......to the girls....especially.....
and yes..... this is the golden opportunity for u......
to realy think bout us......we've made this far....
as far as i'm concern....wat i wan is onli wat u used to be and do with me....
i din ask for more than that......
no matter wat it is.....i have made my best for u.....

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{ 5:33 PM }

take care

i hope he is doin fine there...
how i wish i'm there to take care of him......

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{ 12:51 PM }

will not give up hope....
Wednesday, July 6, 2011.

no matter wat is it.....
i will stay strong for your answer....
i will wait till you clear your mind......
although this week we spend it far apart...
my heart will alwayz be with u..no matter who i spend time with this week..
u noe i dun give up love so easily.....
especially those i loved......

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{ 2:43 PM }

i'm not sure how am i suppose to pass this one week without him...
skies are no longer blue...
flowers are no longer colourful.....
pls let this week pass as fast as possible....

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{ 2:03 PM }

stay strong

i'm scared as my heart shattered into pieces...
i'm lost with no directions....no hand leading my path ahead...
because i noe i'm going to loose u.......
i forget how to live on my own now.....
i did it for the past 18 years of my life.....but a year with u juz erase them all...
ive been crying for the pass four hours......as i'm not ready to be alone yet...
i'm not ready to face the fact to be alone...
all alone in this dark world...
your presence used to be my torch.....
lighting brightly killing the darkness of fear....
u held my hand and been through every obstacles that lies in my path..
youre the strength for me to move on......
but i noe.....after today....
i have to face everything on my own again........
as youre getting sick and tired of me.......being so attached to you...
but so far....i dun think that being attach is wrong......
sigh......being together for so long ....makes me wonder...
how i've changed from the one i used to be before i'm with u....
now.....no one's there for me to rely on.....when i;m down...
no one's there for me to lend me a shoulder as comfortable as yours...
no one will kissed me like the way u used to.....
i miss every single moment of us together......
but i noe there's no turning bac.......
you are who u are.......i cant have bac the person and the character u used to have when u first going after me......anyhow i miss that moment a lot....
tears had been shed.....head is spinning.....
if this is wat it is.....let it be.....i beg mercy from god...
to help me get through this devastating moment......
because this feeling really kills me.....

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{ 12:07 PM }

hope u see this........

if youre getting sick.....
drink more water.......
if ure getting sick of me......
forget bout me........
if ure sad in the future....
dun be.....coz you'll have a fren here to talk to...
if youre face with obstacles...
dun be scared....
coz youre alwayz the strongest one who can beat all these obstacles that lies in your path....
if ure angry.....
try to control your temper more
like how u used to try over me...dun be like me....
if youre off for a girl....
go for it.....u will have all my blessings....
and hope the girl will treat u better than i am....
if ur happy.......
dun forget to enjoy your moments with your loved once...
because without them...u wont succeed.....
till then.....youre alwayz the one i love.....
good luck for your future.......

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{ 11:58 AM }

de amour

i have made an heart aching decision for us....
but i 'm not sure whether its for the benefit for both of us....
i'm pretty sure that this decision is the suck est decision i've ever made...
out of love....
and i felt very awful at this very moment....
coz i'm still missing and loving you for who u are.......
SLAP ME!

should i hold on my stand.....
because i noe if ever he wans it back....
i will agree without hesitating....
but if he wont.....
i noe there's already something which is missing between both of us.....
i have to stay strong to accept his reply.....
no matter wat it is....
i have no regret for loving u that much.....
and i will respect......
however....i wish we could be together like we used to be......

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{ 10:47 AM }